Any of my friends can tell you that I love a bad movie. I love laughing at the stilted acting, the implausible story line and, most of all, the super cheesy, lovey dovey ending. However, this February, right at the height of awards season, I saw three bad movies in a row. And not the good kind of bad movie. I'm talking about the bad, bad movie, the kind that Lifetime Television for Women might not show. Three weekends, three bad movies. And here, dear reader, I will lay them out for you.
First, I saw
When In Rome. Yes, it was just as bad as the preview seemed. The storyline dragged at the end, flailing to tie up the silly story with even sillier plot knots. I laughed a lot, though not at the filmmaker's moments that should have been funny. A friend and I were shushed by some girls behind us, admonishing that, and I quote, "A romantic comedy is
supposed to be cheesy." I wanted to tell them that I can handle cheesy, but not if that cheese is moldy. This cheese fest was.
Then I saw
Dear John, the little movie that could, the David that knocked Goliath
Avatar out of the top spot after almost two months as the nation's number one movie. Now, I knew that
Dear John wasn't going to be
Citizen Kane by any means, but I had no idea that the movie would be as horrifying as it was. Truly, it was awful. I'm not a Sparks fan, but I can enjoy a Saturday afternoon showing of
The Notebook like any self-respecting romantic. However, there are no words to describe the pain I felt after seeing
Dear John. Both actors are poised to become the next big box office stars, and God help us if they do. Lines were delivered sans emotion, expression or even excitement. And the chemistry? What chemistry? I couldn't even tell if they liked each other. I couldn't laugh, that's how bad it was. It was definitely the worst movie I've seen this month, maybe even in the last six. Don't waste your money, I beg you.
Finally, last weekend I saw
Valentine's Day, this year's ubiquitous "all-star" ensemble film. Last year, we got the cliched
He's Just Not That Into You, the film that teaches women that if they change their beliefs, they'll finally get what they want: a man.
Valentine's Day was in the same vein. Starring some of Gary Marshall's favorite actors, both big names and bit characters, this film seemed like a knockoff of
Love Actually without Hugh Grant's charm. It was probably the best of these films that I saw, and George Lopez's one liners made me laugh. However, I think maybe
Wolf Man is a better option for date night than any of these three movies. Let's hope March brings us something better.
First, I saw When In Rome. Yes, it was just as bad as the preview seemed. The storyline dragged at the end, flailing to tie up the silly story with even sillier plot knots. I laughed a lot, though not at the filmmaker's moments that should have been funny. A friend and I were shushed by some girls behind us, admonishing that, and I quote, "A romantic comedy is supposed to be cheesy." I wanted to tell them that I can handle cheesy, but not if that cheese is moldy. This cheese fest was.
Then I saw Dear John, the little movie that could, the David that knocked Goliath Avatar out of the top spot after almost two months as the nation's number one movie. Now, I knew that Dear John wasn't going to be Citizen Kane by any means, but I had no idea that the movie would be as horrifying as it was. Truly, it was awful. I'm not a Sparks fan, but I can enjoy a Saturday afternoon showing of The Notebook like any self-respecting romantic. However, there are no words to describe the pain I felt after seeing Dear John. Both actors are poised to become the next big box office stars, and God help us if they do. Lines were delivered sans emotion, expression or even excitement. And the chemistry? What chemistry? I couldn't even tell if they liked each other. I couldn't laugh, that's how bad it was. It was definitely the worst movie I've seen this month, maybe even in the last six. Don't waste your money, I beg you.
Finally, last weekend I saw Valentine's Day, this year's ubiquitous "all-star" ensemble film. Last year, we got the cliched He's Just Not That Into You, the film that teaches women that if they change their beliefs, they'll finally get what they want: a man. Valentine's Day was in the same vein. Starring some of Gary Marshall's favorite actors, both big names and bit characters, this film seemed like a knockoff of Love Actually without Hugh Grant's charm. It was probably the best of these films that I saw, and George Lopez's one liners made me laugh. However, I think maybe Wolf Man is a better option for date night than any of these three movies. Let's hope March brings us something better.
