The Art of the Matter Makes a Confession

Hi friends,

It's time to reveal something. Something that I've carried with me for a long, long time. It's something that I've felt guilty about, and I need to unburden my soul. Can you handle it?

All these bookstore closings are my fault.

Yes, the recent sweep of bookstores going out of business is. All. My. Fault.

How can one woman have such an impact on the economy? Let me lay it out for you.

I've had a love affair with books for as long as I can remember. Growing up with two bibliophiles, I learned to treasure and love my books. When we'd move, it wasn't the couch or china cabinet that took the most effort to haul. It was our extensive library. 

Borders bookstores were always my favorites. I'd spend hours perusing historical biographies and choosing which cover of the latest edition of Jane Eyre I liked the best. Have I mentioned that I am really, really cool? Obviously, right? I'd drag my friends to bookstores after going out to dinner or the movies because it's what I considered to be the height of fun. By the time I reached high school and needed a summer job, I considered working at a bookstore because I thought it would be the best job ever. Surrounded by books? Throw me in the briar patch! However, competition was fierce, and I wound up working at a clothing store that I grew to hate. It became a blessing in disguise to not work at a bookstore because then I always loved it. It's like never finding out your significant other's faults; everything is sunshine and Santa Claus.

However, bookstores and I began to break up. Once I went to college, I wound up in a town that did not have a Borders bookstore. There were a few other chains, but I didn't love them the way I loved Borders with its warm lighting, friendly staff, and rewards program. So, I didn't shop at bookstores anymore. Also, to be honest, as an undergrad trying to pinch pennies, I saw the merit in Amazon and Overstock, with their cheap shipping and huge discounts. I bought more and more of my books online and less from the stores. Even on the rare occasions when I'd go to Borders on breaks from school, I was astonished by the price difference. $75 for a stuffed animal and picture book for a baby present? I could get this on Amazon for $30, easily. Obviously, being a prudent student had taken the spontaneity and joy out of book buying. I was no longer carefree and fun when it came to purchases, and I had to cut out frivolous buys like another copy of Jane Eyre.

Then, I decided to get one of these:

Partly so I could accessorize it with this:

I never met a product from Kate Spade I didn't like, and, to be honest, I love my Kindle. I can carry it with me all the time, have any book at my fingertips, and my arms don't fall asleep while reading those historical biographies, which in book-form tend to be heavy.

And yet, I feel ashamed of my betrayal. I told a dear friend about my behavior, and she jokingly said I was being "whorish." Yet, that how's I feel.

A few weeks ago, Borders announced its bankruptcy and immediate closings of all stores. I felt beyond sad. And, I felt guilty. Guilty that I hadn't supported  an old friend in a time of need. So, to the going-out-of-business sale I went, trying to make amends.


Friends, when I tell you it was sad, I mean it was tragic. Like a being a funeral or seeing buzzards pick at roadkill kind of sad. I was reminded of the most heart-breaking scene in one of my favorite movies of all time You've Got Mail, when Kathleen (Meg Ryan) has to close her beloved and charming neighborhood bookstore because mega store Fox Books, run by her arch nemesis/AOL paramour Joe Fox (Tom Hanks),  has stolen her clientele. She talks about her work being just a memory...ugh, are you crying? If you aren't then here's a clip of her going-out-of-business sale:

Now don't you feel sad? Being in Borders reminded me of this, and the guilt washed over me like an ocean. Was this my fault?

I know that I didn't really bankrupt this company alone; I had help from the millions of people who are trying to save money in this recession as well as those who understand that e-readers are where books are going, but I still feel bad. However, I spent $80 on books that I didn't need. It was my way of saying goodbye. And I didn't once think about how much cheaper it would have been on Amazon.


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